What's the difference between Princess Diana and Tiger Woods?

Tigers got a much better driver.

How are Princess Diana, Dale Earnhardt, and Pink Floyd related?

Their last greatest hit was The Wall.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?


She wasn't wearing her seatbelt.

"Diana!" I said greeting my mother-in-law as she walked through the door...

She said, "My name's Anna."

I said, "Yeah, I know."

There is a conspiracy theory that claims Princess Diana was on the radio after her reported d*eath.

I'd like to confirm this was completely true, she WAS on the radio, and the dashboard, the steering wheel, the back of the seats and the windscreen.

What would princess Diana...

...be doing, if she was still alive today?

Scratching her coffin and screaming.

Princess Diana was all over the radio the night she d*ied,

And on the dashboard, the seats and the steering wheel...

Why didn't princess Diana carry any cash?

Who would like their purse to be full with pictures of their mother-in-law?

The marriage of Charles and Diana was doomed from their wedding night....

...that's when Diana discovered that not all rulers are 12" long.

How do we know Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her head & shoulders in the glovebox.

I have princess Diana added as a friend on Xbox live.

To bad she spends all her time on dashboard.

To bad she spends all her time on dashboard.


A new conspiracy theory states Priness Diana was actually on the radio shortly after the supposed a*ccident that k*illed her.

And the windshield, and the dashboard...

^^^^I ^^^^made ^^^^myself ^^^^sad

What does Africa hunger and a mercedes have in common?

Princess Diana couldn't stop either.

I was surprised to learn what Princess Diana d*ied from.

It was car-pole-tunnel syndrome.

Why Did The Queen Wear Black Gloves To Princess Diana's Funeral?

The white ones were covered in brake fluid.

Im friends with princess Diana on Xbox,

She never plays games though, she's always on the dashboard.

If Tiger Wood and Princess Diana played a round of golf who would win?

Tiger Woods! because he has a better driver!

I'll be in hell if you need me.

Royal wedding

Where did Prince Charles spend his honeymoon? Indiana!

(Aye, it's an old one, but the search facility makes me think it's never been made reddit previous, so I post it for the education & betterment of the younguns.)

Watching a film about Princess Diana..

And Diana says "if we are lucky we will grow old" and my sister turns around and says bluntly and without a hint of a smile, "you won't".


What was Princess Diana's favorite thing about the Xbox 360?

The dashboard.

What do Princess Diana and Champagne have in common?

Both come from France in a wooden box.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔:

Lady Diana and Dolly Parton d*ie on the same day...

and they both go before St. Peter to find out if they'll be admitted to heaven. Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so St. Peter must decide which of them gets in.

St. Peter asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to heaven, so she takes off her top and says, "Look at these. They're the most perfect ones God ever created, and I'm sure it will please him to be able to see them every day for eternity."St. Peter thanks Dolly, and asks Diana the same question. Diana drops her skirt and panties, takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and douches with it.

St. Peter says, "OK, Diana, you may go in".

Dolly is outraged. She screams, "What was that all about? I show you two of God's own creations, she performs a disgusting, pornographic act, and she gets in and I don't?

!

!!"Sorry Dolly" says St. Peter, "but a royal flush beats a pair any day."


Did you know princess diana was on the radio during her car a*ccident?

She was also on the dash, windshield and the hood.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔:

Dolly Parton and Princess Diana are at the pearly gates of Heaven...

St Peter, standing guard, asks them to share their contributions with him. Dolly Parton lifts her shirt and shows him her boobs. Then Princess Diana takes a cup, pees in it, and hands it to St Peter. St Peter asks them to hold on for a moment and then walks away. When he returns, he lets Princess Diana in but refuses entry to Dolly Parton. Dolly Parton is shocked and asks why she can't come in. St Peter replies, "Sorry, but a royal flush beats a pair."

Did you know that Princess Diana was on her cell phone when she d*ied?

She was also on the dashboard, the windscreen, the roadside...

Princess Diana goes to heaven...

Princess Diana goes to heaven and meets St. Peter. He says to her: Here in heaven we are all equal, so you need to take off the crown. She replies: This is not a crown, it's a rim.


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